The longest human poop ever recorded will not only mystify and amaze you, but it will probably scare the crap out of you (no pun intended). Especially when you read how this record was achieved. All I can say is WOW! It’s not the best conversation starter in the world, neither is this, but do you know what the longest human poop ever recorded was? It will leave you speechless, to say the least. The longest human poop ever recorded was an astounding 7.92 metres (26 feet) and was set in 1995. You can see a set of the photos from the poop here. Want to know another amazing feature about it? It came from a woman!
I can imagine some people reading this now saying, “I have had bigger,” well it wasn’t documented, so it doesn’t count. Sorry. Some of you will be saying, impossible… It’s not true, and like this often quoted factoid, it’s a total fabrication. Well, it’s all true, documented and recorded. The rest of you I can imagine your jaw sitting on your lap in sheer horror at the thought of a monster crap like that. I bet the question you all want answered now is, how the hell did it get to that stage?
Setting the longest human poop record
Before we go any further we would strongly advise any readers against even thinking of trying to emulate or beat this crazy record. Clearly the methods used, and the length of time it took to set this record pose serious health risks. The poor unfortunate woman who as yet remains unnamed, was from Ann Arbor. She was working in conjunction with a nutritionist from the University of Michigan who placed her on a high fibre diet. But that wasn’t all the nutritionist gave her. The woman was fitted with a butt plug to keep everything in place and brewing until the big moment arrived. She was literally full of it, a bit like this guy.
After what would have been an agonising week long process the big event finally arrived. The event had to take place at Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, because it was the only surface long enough to record the result. Once it was done, she had set the record for the longest human poop ever at 7.92 metres (26 feet), which was the length of her entire colon (including intestine length obviously).
Clearly some people will still be doubting this as even remotely possible. But think of it this way. If the stool was not hard, and it shouldn’t have been because of her strict diet, it would have been considerably softer. Now, think of a tube of toothpaste. It is short and fat with a small opening. If you squeeze the paste out it will go a lot further than the length of the tube it was in. It’s possible that the woman involved had a poop occupying 15 feet of her bowel, but when squeezed out it stretched to 26 feet.
So remember, please have a high fibre diet, but don’t forcibly obstruct your bowel. It’s just not a good idea.
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