6 Funny Condom Facts
Welcome to our list of 6 weird, awkward and funny condom facts. We’re sure that by the time you have finished this list you will never look at them the same way again.
1 McDonalds Accidentally Distributed Condoms In Happy Meals
This incident is almost comparable to the Walmart underwear mistake, except this was a pure accident.
The events began to unfold when the condoms were intended to go to a school in Provincetown, Massachusetts when the school system recently established a rule that allowed them to be given to students of all ages. However, the meals were accidentally delivered to Barnstable Massachusetts by mistake. The meals delivered to Barnstable contained the condoms instead of the cheap plastic toy from the movie at the time, The Last Airbender. The reason no one discovered the mistake until it was too late is because most of the workers could not read English, and thought ‘Ribbed Latex’ was a character in the movie.
The affected meals eventually found their way into the hands of a dozen 8 year old attending a birthday party. According to eyewitnesses they all opened the meals at the same time and blew them up like balloons and began hitting one another with them.
The disaster didn’t end there. The schools that was supposed to get the condoms got the Last Airbender toys instead. Several students had to go to the schools nurse to get replacement condoms.
It certainly puts a new spin on the name Happy Meal.
2 Sweden Has Condom Ambulances
How weird is this? In some Swedish cities you can find an ambulance of a very different kind. Condom ambulances. Yes, Sweden has condom ambulances. While not exactly the same as the emergency medical kind, they do provide a huge public health benefit. So what exactly are they, and whey does Sweden have condom ambulances?
Sweden’s condom ambulances came into existence when the rates of chlamydia cases in young people doubled in one year. Officials needed a way to try and enforce the safe sex message while also doing something to combat the increase in STI’s. So they came across the idea of a condom ambulance.
The principle of these unique ambulances is a simple one. Imagine you are getting it on one night with someone and you are just not prepared for, you know, some hanky panky. If you find yourself in this situation where you are about to have sex, but lack the protection to prevent a serious STI such as chlamydia or pregnancy, you just need to make a quick and maybe embarrassing phone call. For a call to the condom ambulance, and for small fee of 50 kronas (about $8), they will deliver 10 condoms to any address within the city.
3 A South African Doctor Invented An Anti Rape Condom
In 2005 a retired blood technician invented a new anti rape condom device called the vagina dentata. With a name that has vagina in it, it can’t be all that bad can it? Well take a look at the second half of it, and it will throw a little more perspective into it. Dentata comes from dental, or teeth. So put the two together and what do you have? Vagina teeth. It doesn’t sound all that inviting now, does it? So why would anyone want to make an anti rape condom like this?
Sonette Ehlers from South Africa, who is a retired doctor, was alarmed at the high rates of rape in the country, and decided to act. After some thought for the best solution for the problem she developed the vagina dentata.
This nasty little potential life saver is made out of a silicon material that is inserted into the vagina. On the inside of the condom are rows of sharp plastic teeth, that will bite into the attackers penis and instantly stop the sexual assault. The attacker will be left with “superficial” damage to the penis, and it will require medical intervention to be removed, providing hard evidence of their crime. But it does have some drawbacks.
One problem with the anti rape condom is that it costs about 50 or 60 cents, which is expensive for a single use item in South Africa. Other problems that have gone the way of the inventor are whether or not it could result in a more serious assault on the victim that could cost them their life. These reasons, along with many others may be the reason that it hasn’t yet gone into production.
As of 2014 not a single anti rape condom has been made for commercial use, although the initial display model has been made. It still remains a possibility that this unique condom could see light of day someday soon.
4 Spray On Condoms Are Being Developed
Continuing on with condom development we now bring you something a little less painful. Imagine how simple ones sex life could be with spray on condoms. As convenient as a bottle of deodorant, and as effective, or maybe even more effective than a traditional condom, spray on condoms could revolutionize the safe sex industry and its use. It sounds very futuristic, but blieve it or not, people are actually working on developing them.
In 2006 Jan Vinzenz Krause invented a prototype spray on condom. It was hoped that this new condom could change safe sex for the world, but just as with the invention above, it had a few problems.
So this invention actually works, but as we mentioned, has a few problems. Firstly, a man has to insert his penis into a device to be sprayed with a liquid silicon. For a lot of men doing this wouldn’t be too big a problem, as a lot of men will have no problem placing their dong into any hole. But this did prove to be a bit of a problem. Some men found the device intimidating, and wouldn’t put their willy into it.
But if a man did stick his penis blindly into the machine the following process wasn’t that simple. It would emit a large hissing sound when it applied the silicon to the penis, which had the ability to kill the mood. But if the sound of the application wasn’t enough, it would take nearly a minute just to apply the liquid latex, time that could be better spent of foreplay. But if one minute sounds extreme when compared to the time it takes to put on a normal regular condom, the drying time was just a joke.
After having your dick sprayed with silicon inside a machine, it would take about two or three minutes to dry before you could use it. That my friend, is a mood killer. But apart from these little annoyances, once applied there was no reservoir in which to collect the semen. They are also twice as expensive as normal condoms. All of these problems have stalled the development since 2008. So why would anyone want to reinvent the wheel, so to speak?
So the thing is, all willies are not the same shape or size. So when something is made to fit “all shapes and sizes“, it really doesn’t live up to its promise. That was the idea behind this development. People with humongous penises could end up breaking the condom, and people with small penises wouldn’t be able to keep the darn thing on. Then there are people that have oddly shaped penises, and this too proves to be a bit of a problem with maintaining safe sex. The spray on condom was a vision of accomplishing all of these problems.
5 The First Condoms Were Made Of Linen And Intestines
So we have just looked at how we are trying to advance the humble condom, but just how far have we come? I mean, looking back at the development of safe sex over the years this has to be one of the biggest and best. Why would I say something like that? Well, the first condoms were very disgusting indeed.
Condoms are much older than you would think. The first recorded mention of one in literature goes way back to the 16th century. Now this was the first time that they were mentioned, so there is a possibility that they are a lot older than their first written use. It was these early primitive condoms that needed to be improved beyond all recognition.
The very first condoms were made out of linen. Yep, linen. It’s as if someone saw a solitary sock and thought, “oh, I’l stick my dick into that and see how it goes during sex.” As you could imagine, a piece of fabric would be as good at retaining semen as a condom made out of fly screen, and it wouldn’t have been very comfortable for either party. I can imagine carpet burn on some very delicate areas of both people. So what happened next was a major breakthrough.
I’m assuming that next invention in the condom world came from watching butchers. Today, the skin of sausages are made mostly from vegetable protein. But in times gone by they were mage out of cleaned intestines, delicious sounding. This product was also the next step in condom development, intestines. While the comfort for both parties was greatly improved, they were still a very clumsy piece of sexual protection.
Oh, and neither of them were a single use item either. When you were finished you had to wash them out and reuse them. It is thought Casanova used the linen condom.
6 Why Do Condoms Break?
Everyone breaks something at some time in their life. Under normal circumstances it’s no big deal, a glass, mug or plate. They are simple and inexpensive things to replace. But what happens if a condom breaks? Pandemonium. There is the potential for catching an STD, which would be devastating, especially if it’s one of the more sinister ones, and the dreaded unplanned pregnancy. A broken condom can be a real disaster for a young person entering the cusp of their life. But why do condoms break?
Did you know that most condom failures are due to the wrong size? Quite often the condom is either too big or too small. If it’s too big it can slip off, too small it can break. Tip here, put your ego aside and get the right size, or you could be looking down the barrel of 18 years bad luck.