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Isaac Newton Died a Virgin

isaac newton died virgin

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin. That’s right, you heard it here first. One of the brightest minds to ever grace this earth and draw breath never once got his willy wet. OK, so he would have got it wet in a bath or a torrential downfall of rain, but never in a fun way, unless he discovered that soap makes a great lubricant. But even if he did make this discovery, along with his many many others, it still doesn’t change the fact that Isaac Newton was a virgin when he died.

So who was Isaac Newton? If you had to ask that question you seriously need to learn a little more, and this is definitely the site for you. Sir Isaac Newton is best remembered by most people as the person who first discovered gravity. Alright, it wasn’t that he discovered it, everyone knew gravity was present, they just didn’t know what was holding them on the ground. Newton was the first to understand its principles. The iconic image of Newton is one of him under an apple tree, when a falling apple supposedly gave him the inspiration to decipher the secrets of gravity.

But that wasn’t all he did. He was a very busy man. He formulated the laws of motion and made the first practical reflector telescope, they are the ones with mirrors in them. He also had a theory on color which he based on his observations of white light passing through a prism, and he devoted a lot of time to studying the speed of sound. To cap of a stellar career, Newton invented calculus. Yep, he took much of the credit for that, and you can blame him for it too.

Obviously he was a very busy man, what with all of his studies, inventions and theories. Being this busy left him with very little time for distractions such as family, women and sex. Who needs distractions like that when you are changing the world, right? Nothing hugs you like a theory. He went through life as a bachelor, and reportedly never had sex. How do we know this?

Voltaire. who attended his funeral, was quoted as stating that Isaac Newton died a virgin. He got his information from both his treating doctor and the surgeon who were with Newton when he died. According to them, he revealed his secret on his death bed.

Newton had neither passion nor weakness; he never went near any woman

~Voltaire

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