The best hiccup cure is a digital rectal massage. We kid you not. And no, this is not one of those questionable folklore cures, or our idea either. To be brutally honest, I’d personally rather ride them out than take such an invasive treatment. So, now you’re this far into it, and undoubtedly intrigued, would you like to know a little more? Of course you would.
First thing first, before we delve into the hiccup cure by a digital rectal massage, what causes hiccups? They can be triggered by any number of things, such as eating too quickly, swallowing air with food and eating too much fatty or spicy foods. Drinking too many carbonated drinks or alcohol can also be a leading trigger of hiccups. But the action of a hiccup is caused by the the diaphragm contracting in an involuntary spasm while the vocal chords abruptly close. This gives the telltale hiccup sound. While they’re not life threatening, they sure are annoying, especially if seated next to someone afflicted with them in a cinema. But fear not, there are several home remedies that might work, and one very effective treatment if you’re willing to get either your finger or someone else’s finger a bit stinky.
We have all had a case of the hiccups. For most of us they are only a temporary annoyance and will quickly pass without any need for intervention. But if you feel the need to stop them there are quite a few home remedies that supposedly work. Such treatments include drinking water, drinking water while upside down, holding your breath and getting a genuine fright. Whether or not these actually work is debatable. It’s highly likely that they provide a distraction and you subconsciously allow them to subside. However this is fine for mild cases. What’s it going to hurt if it doesn’t work, right? What do you do with bad cases? I mean really bad cases like with this guy? You take matters into your hands quite literally.
If you are suffering from intractable hiccups there are very few options. If you are wondering what intractable hiccups are, they are a bout of hiccups that last for more than three months. Now that’s a serious pain in the ass, which gets us to the most effective treatment. Unfortunately for these poor soles, the best hiccup cure is a digital rectal massage.
Intractable hiccups are caused by electrical impulses in the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is located in the neck and is connected to several vital organs. Oddly enough a digital massage in the rectum can cure hiccups, as has been proven in two cases. One was in Tennessee and the other in Haifa in Israel. The massage overstimulates the vagus nerve and disrupts the electrical impulses causing the hiccups.
The doctor in Tennessee tried just about everything to bring about a cessation, from pulling on the tongue to gagging and even pressing the eyeball. Everything failed. That’s until the doctor tried massaging the anus. Don’t ask us what made the doctor think of that, but it worked. The results were replicated in Haifa, with the doctors there suggesting a possible, and more pleasant alternative. They believe, because it hasn’t been tested yet, that an orgasm may be just as effective.
So the next time you find yourself in this predicament remember that the best, and clinically proven hiccup cure is a digital rectal massage.