Have you ever come across a factoid claiming that the a certain female sex toy was invented 15000 years before the wheel? At first sight it would appear to be nothing more than a made up piece of nonsense designed to go viral. Honestly, there’s nothing better than having some piece of total claptrap that you fabricated fooling just about the entire world. Before long it becomes accepted as being the unadulterated truth. Well I can tell you that this statement, the female sex toy was invented 15000 years before the wheel, is partly incorrect. It would appear that someone who sent this off around the world failed in basic mathematics. It’s actually even older!
We are dead serious here. It looked so wrong at first sight that we had to dig into the history of both devices to find out if it was true. So the first one that we went to was the one people feel more comfortable talking about. The wheel.
The wheel. Has there ever been a more useful thing invented? It has revolutionized the world beyond imagination. From transportation to simple pottery, every day of our lives is touched in some way by the wheel. But after looking into its uses the thing that I found most surprising about it is its age. Despite thinking that it was a device that has been in use for tens of thousands of years, the stark reality is that it was only invented in the late Neolithic period, about 4,500 BC. It wasn’t even used for transportation. The first wheel was on a potters wheel.
So now we know the age of the wheel, and it was invented about 4,500 BC. The female sex toy knocks that figure out of the park. Turns out that the oldest female sex toy yet discovered was one found in a cave in Germany from the Upper Palaeolithic period. Not that a sex toy in Germany should be that surprising, I have heard about their X rated movies. If you’re not sure when the Upper Palaeolithic period was, it puts the female sex toy at around 30,000 BC, beating the wheel by 25,000 years or so.
It is worth noting that archaeologists are in disagreement as to their use. Some describe them as batons, short, thin, wiener shaped batons with sexual depictions on them. While more straight thinking archaeologists point out that it is what it looks like.
Looking at the size, shape, and—some cases—explicit symbolism of the ice age batons, it seems disingenuous to avoid the most obvious and straightforward interpretation. But it has been avoided.
~ archaeologist Timothy Taylor
If you are wondering what these primitive sex toys were made out of, well be careful. They made them out of wood, stone, tar, and anything that could be firm enough to endure the rigors of sex play. The Greeks even made them out of breadsticks in the 5th century BC.
