Sun. Oct 13th, 2019

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Mario from Super Mario Bros is a Mass Murderer

2 min read

mario murderer

Did you know that Mario from Super Mario Bros is a mass murderer? It’s true, and you were probably having one hell of a good time blissfully thinking that you were playing a great G rated game, while all the time you were committing digital genocide. But we’re not talking about the Koopas or Goombas from the game either. We’re actually talking about cute, and presumable friendly people. Is it believable? Well, if you have read our fact about Mario owning and abusing Donkey Kong, this won’t come as a surprise at all, and is very believable.

If you are like most gamers, the adventures of Mario and his brother Luigi are well known. A couple of regular Italian plumbers turned super heroes save the day, several times over. Not only do they seem like a couple of nice guys with insane jumping abilities, and heads as hard as rock, but we get to control them, making us a kind of digital hero. It seems however that most of us have been playing the game practically blind to what is, and has happened in the game. In reality, Mario is a murderer, a mass murderer. But how is this so? Isn’t he the hero of the game? It really depends on where you sit after reading the following. He may not have been a hero at all, but a real psychopath that more closely resembles the cruel tormentor of Donkey Kong.

If you are like me there’s a pretty good chance that when you got the game you just went directly to the controls section, or didn’t read any of the instructions at all. If you did you missed the key ingredient that shows you that Mario is a murderer. It was printed in black and white for all to see.

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