Did you know that Mario from Super Mario Bros is a mass murderer? It’s true, and you were probably having one hell of a good time blissfully thinking that you were playing a great G rated game, while all the time you were committing digital genocide. But we’re not talking about the Koopas or Goombas from the game either. We’re actually talking about cute, and presumable friendly people. Is it believable? Well, if you have read our fact about Mario owning and abusing Donkey Kong, this won’t come as a surprise at all, and is very believable.
If you are like most gamers, the adventures of Mario and his brother Luigi are well known. A couple of regular Italian plumbers turned super heroes save the day, several times over. Not only do they seem like a couple of nice guys with insane jumping abilities, and heads as hard as rock, but we get to control them, making us a kind of digital hero. It seems however that most of us have been playing the game practically blind to what is, and has happened in the game. In reality, Mario is a murderer, a mass murderer. But how is this so? Isn’t he the hero of the game? It really depends on where you sit after reading the following. He may not have been a hero at all, but a real psychopath that more closely resembles the cruel tormentor of Donkey Kong.
If you are like me there’s a pretty good chance that when you got the game you just went directly to the controls section, or didn’t read any of the instructions at all. If you did you missed the key ingredient that shows you that Mario is a murderer. It was printed in black and white for all to see.
Did you follow that? Did peace-loving Mushroom People were turned into stones, bricks and field horse-hair plants. What does Mario and his brother do throughout the entire game? They smash the bricks, lots of them, and all of them are the Mushroom people. What makes his actions even worse is that he is aware of their plight, the reason he is there in the beginning.
So as you gleefully progressed through the many levels of the game smashing nearly every brick on the way, you were actually smashing digital people. So this would surely give it the highest death toll of any game series in existence. Maybe this entire scenario was a throwback to the dark and sinister days when Nintendo was involved in prostitution and gambling.