12 Seriously Cool wiener Facts That Will Make You Look at Them Differently

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When it comes to the piece of meat dangling between mens legs, there doesn’t seem to be all that much that you need to know about it. Most men seem to only be able to think with it, and it really does also seem to drive just about everything that men do. But reality aside, the dong is a pretty amazing thing, and there are a lot of wiener facts that are very interesting. So why not take a comfortable position and read through our cool wiener facts that will definitely make you look at them differently. We hope that it’s not too hard to read.

1 An Average Man Has 90 Minutes Of Erections During Sleep

morning wood

There’s nothing like a hard on, unless you are a teenager who get them at the most inappropriate times. They make your wily look bigger, enable sex, and are pretty fun to play with. But did you know that you can also get erections during your sleep?

If you’re a man you’ve probably woken with a bit of an erection. But do you know why? It’s actually the left overs from the nights sleep and is called Nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT). In an average night of sleep a man will have around 90 minutes of erections, which is around 20% of the time sleeping!

Here’s one of the more interesting features of NPT. Men who suffer from erectile dysfunction, making them practically useless in bed, can use this to help determine the cause of the inability to get it up. A small paper tape is placed around the wiener when the patient goes to sleep. If it is broken in the morning it shows that the man is able to get an erection, so the cause must be psychological, such as anxiety. If it is intact then there is a the chance that the problem is caused by a physical disability. An elastic band with electronic sensors can also be used and will provide more information on how the wiener is behaving during the night.

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2 A Painful And Prolonged Erection Is Called Priapism, And Is Serious

Painful And Prolonged Erection Is Called Priapism

Talking of erections, did you know that some people can get a hard on for hours, and it isn’t as good as it sounds?

Most guys who get an erection are only able to sustain it long enough to do the job at hand. If their partner is lucky enough, they might be able to keep the little guy outstanding for an encore performance, although this is rare among men. But some men suffer from a condition called priapism, which is a hard on that won’t go down. I mean it literally won’t go down for hours on end. If it sounds too good to  be true, imagine a persistent erection for four hours or more, that is also extremely painful. Getting the picture now? It’s not a good thing to have, despite what the Adult industry might be looking for in a performer.

If a man suffers from an erection that lasts more than four hours, whether or not it is painful, they need to see a doctor. Priapism is classified as a serious medical condition, and an emergency. It actually has several causes, but is normally characterized by one of two disorders. It wil either be high flow, or low flow. High flow is where too much blood is entering the wiener, and low flow is where the blood flows too slowly for the erection to subside. If treatment is avoided or delayed, it can lead to impotence and permanent damage to the organ.

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3 Average wiener Length

Average wiener Length

No surprises here. They come in different lengths. From the big to the tiny, there are so many different sized willies out there that it makes it difficult to know if the one that you or your partner has is “normal.” I mean, for a man that visits a urinal and gets a little curiously weird and takes a peek at the other men taking a piss, it can be confusing. Some men hardly poke out of their trousers, while others nearly touch the damn floor. Then there’s the temperature to take into consideration. It has a weird impact on that particular region.

But if it wan’t already confusing enough, the Adult industry has given people an unrealistic expectation of what to expect down there. For visual and entertainment purposes, a big shlong looks better on film, and is well, clearly more visible. The over use of big willies in the Adult game has made many men feel rather inadequate when it comes to size. But men shouldn’t worry.

The average length of a flaccid wiener is 3 to 4 inches.The average erect wiener is 5 inches (12.5cm). Both of these measurements are way less than the Adult movies would have us believe.

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4 Humans Have The Largest wiener Of All Of The Primates

Humans Have The Largest wiener Of All Of The Primates

If you find yourself on the smaller end of the average wiener length, here’s a little picker upper for you. While some men have small willies, spare a thought for other animals in the primate family, of which we are a part of. But how could this possibly be? Apes, for example, are much larger than us?

Well, the size of an animal is no indication of the size of its member. If that were the case both Arnold Schwarzenegger and the tallest man in the world would be hung like horses. But as far as I know, they are not. Which brings us to the anatomy of gorillas.

While gorillas in general dwarf humans in size, they have a very small wiener. It’s really no thicker than a pencil, and also very short. Some gorillas in fact don’t even get to be this big. In short, they are really short.

While monkeys and apes may not have the goods where it counts, they sure do have a fluffy and cuteness factor that a lot of men lack.

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but this is something that the next man has nothing to worry about.

5 The World’s Largest wiener Is Over 13 Inches Long

Worlds Largest wiener

The world’s largest wiener is frightfully big. I mean it, HUGE. It’s like God got confused and mixed up the vital bits of a donkey and man, and somewhere out there is a donkey with a completely undersized, and inadequate wiener. So who is the lucky guy with the world’s largest wiener?

Taking the perspective of most men, this guy should be a legend among men. His name is Jonah Falcon, a New Yorker from Italian heritage. Yep, that gem threw out the stereotypes about race and wiener size. He is, apart from an enviable record holder, a writer, actor and talk show host. He has had quite a few small roles in sitcoms throughout his career, but as of yet, no break through role. But by far, his greatest claim to fame is his best friend, his dong. So do you want to know how big his willy is?

Before proceeding any further please take a seat. The numbers we are about to present to you would make an accountant grin. Jonah Falcon, the lucky guy with the world’s largest wiener, has a willy that measures 9.5 inches (24 cm) in length when flaccid. Wow right? That’s massive. But as with all ding dongs, make them happy and they get even bigger. I mean, harden this mother of a dick up and he would be able to play quite an effective round of golf with it. When he gets it up, hard, erect, it measures a whopping, eye gouging, mind shattering 13.5 inches (34 cm) in length. I don’t think I’ve even seen a sex toy that big in a sex shop. The poor woman on the receiving end of that beast would probably feel it on her ribs. But length isn’t everything. Most people say that it’s the thickness of the wiener that matters most, and for the majority of men they will have either one or the other. A long thin willy, or a short fat one. But this is one lucky guy. It’s both long and thick.

Jonah Falcon claims that his wiener is so wide that he can wrap his entire foreskin around a door knob! Two things. That’s freaking huge, and who the hell would do that? So what does he do with it?

You would probably think that a wiener of this magnitude belongs in Adult (or a freak show). But the owner disagrees. Growing up he always felt odd and left out because of its size. Sure, he could make a hugely successful career out of Adultography, but as Jonah himself noted, “it would be just the easy way out.” Instead of making Adult, he decided to pursue a career in mainstream acting and writing for a blog.

But you would think that having a humongous wiener would be mostly happy times. Not exactly. While most men think that having a huge willy would be great, the reality is anything but. In a documentary about his wiener simply titled “The World’s Largest wiener,” he claims that it is a burden. It has presented itself as a problem during sexual encounters, and often attracts a lot of unwelcome attention. He has been stopped at airport security checkpoints due to the large bulge in his pants.

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wiener facts

However, the following record makes even the monkeys seem large

6 World’s Smallest wiener Ever Recorded Was Only 1 cm Long

smallest wiener ever

Do you know how big, or um, small the world’s smallest wiener is? Or how about the world’s smallest wiener ever recorded? We understand that this is a difficult and delicate subject, but to hell with it. It’s about time that we confronted a subject matter that not everyone is overly comfortable with.

When it comes to measuring things, especially when it comes to records, the usual case is the bigger the easier it is to record. This can be for many reasons. Firstly, it’s usually much more difficult to hide something that is larger than average, while something smaller than average is often already hidden. Then there’s the case that people who have the biggest are often proud of their achievement and want to show the world, a scenario the world’s smallest wiener record holder would be less than comfortable doing. Then there’s the difficulty in actually measuring. Big items are much easier to measure. Of course there are the vernier calipers that are designed to measure small items to the smallest degree, but the problem with small things is that there often seems to be far more small things than big things. So the difference in size between big things is a little easier to determine. But even still, this is a particular record that very few men would be willing to present themselves for.

As you may have seen, the world’s biggest wiener belongs to a man called Jonah Falcon, a man who lives in New York. His monstrosity is almost as terrifying as it is captivating. But even still, that’s at the complete opposite end of this scale, and he seems to have no problems sharing the size of his burden with the public.

OK. To work this record out takes a lot of looking, and I will say right now that it isn’t precise. At any point another person could potentially come forward and set a new record. You may think that that would be a long shot, but it’s not. In several locations around the world, such as in New York, regular championships are held to determine who has the shortest wiener, at least in that vicinity. It is entirely plausible that one of these contestants could set a new world record.

There are actually several conditions that can cause a small wiener. One such cause can include being obese. When a person is over weight the additional fat builds up and practically consumes the wiener. While the wiener is still there, due to the extra fat around the pelvic region, more of it is hidden inside the fat, thus less is actually protruding. Losing weight is one effective way to make a wiener look bigger. Another possible cause of a micro wiener is a condition called hypoplasia. In this instance the willy is often physically smaller and does not form an external shaft. The head, or glans are attached directly to the pubis. So it’s just the head trying to poke through the forest of hair.

The smallest wiener ever recorded

From what we have been able to determine, the smallest wiener ever recorded reached a size of 1 cm (0.39 inch). By all accounts that is the size of the wiener while it is erect, not flaccid. A wiener of that insignificance would possibly indicate that the person had the condition hypoplasia.

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smallest wiener ever recorded

But if you find yourself in the short department, you could always try this.

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