Shakespeare’s Clay Pipe Showed Evidence Of Crack, Weed And Acid

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shakespeare clay pipe

Well this explains a lot. All those years struggling to comprehend his messed up tragedies, unfunny comedies and complex dialogue suddenly makes perfect sense. It seems entirely possible that the reason for his plays, which are a favorite for evil literary and English teachers the world over, were so complex is because he may have been as high as a kite. What makes us say that? Shakespeare’s clay pipe contained evidence of weed, crack and even acid.

Whoa, hold up one minute. Are we really suggesting that because Shakespeare’s clay pipe contained traces of weed, acid and crack that he was a stoner? Not really, but where there’s smoke, there is fire, or in Shakespeare’s case, maybe giggles, laughter and the munchies. So how do we know this to be the case? He did die about four hundred years ago, surely any evidence would be long gone by now.

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In recent years there have been extensive excavations at his old home in Stratford-upon-Avon. While many precious items from the author were found, it was his old used pipe that raised a lot of interest. Not only because it was possibly used by the man himself, but because of the scientific results from the pipe. Results that if found today could land the owner in some seriously hot water.

The pipes that were uncovered from his old home were collected and sent to South Africa’s Forensic Science Laboratory for analysis. They weren’t really expecting to find anything untoward, but then the results came in. They showed that Shakespeare’s clay pipes contained traces of weed, crack and even acid. Because they were full of dirt, the residues were preserved extremely well in the stem and bowl. It was as if the lab was testing a crack pipe from today. The precise drugs they found were marijuana, cocaine, camphor, myristic acid, and quinoline. Myristic acid is a substance found in Nutmeg that causes hallucinations.

The readings we got were the same as if it had tested a modern-day crack pipe

~Tommy van der Merwe, South Africa’s Forensic Science Laboratory.

The discovery of the pipes have some calling for the historical playwrights body to be exhumed for testing. They will be able to determine by looking at his teeth if he smoked a pipe, and further chemical analysis tests will be able to confirm if he smoked weed, crack and acid. So if the results are what the anthropologists expect, Shakespeare may have been high as all fuck when he wrote the play that shall not be named, Othello and Romeo and Juliette.

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