In the Smurfs Christmas special, they kill someone! Wait, hang on. Did I just make a stupendous typo, or did this really happen? I mean, the oxygen starved, miniature aliens from Avatar couldn’t possibly do something as sinister as cold blooded murder, or could they? After all, everyone has a darker side, and skeletons in the closet. So what did these psychotic murderous little bastards do in the Smurfs Christmas special?
So get this. What we have here is a bunch of little blue aliens, or possibly some kind of mutants from Futurama, that live in little mushrooms, possibly “magical mushrooms,” that persistently harass the poor pensioner Gargamel, and his perpetually tortured cat Azrael. They give the viewer the perception that they are a fun loving gay community, who love to sing and dance. That was of course until the town bike, Smurfette, was thrown into the mix, the little hussy. But even with the introduction of the only female in an all male population, they still seemed to be as happy as ever, or possibly even happier. Who would have thought that a lone female in a small village would make things happier? But this happiness and friendliness was just a hideous ploy to cover their more sinister motives. Motives that would be revealed only once on film.
In 1982 the Smurfs Christmas Special was released. Running for a full 48 minutes, which is basically two full length episodes, it featured possibly one of the darkest moments in all Smurfdom. To cut a long story very short, a couple of children and their grandfather are involved in single vehicle accident when a wolf attacks the old man. Leaving the wounded grandfather stuck under the sleigh, the children go looking for help and get turned down by Gargamel. They then go looking elsewhere. Following the children is a stranger that is looking for them, and employs Gargamel to help find them. Gargamel thinks that he has a real deal going his way, but it ends up biting him in the ass. It all culminates when the stranger, who just happens to be a wizard, takes Gargamel and the two children hostage. Eventually, the little blue things come across Gargamel, Azrael and the two kids that are being held hostage in a burning ring of fire, which is not to be confused with hemorrhoids. It’s apparently so terrifying that even Gargamel is on his knees. Not to be outdone in cruelty, the Smurfs devise a wicked plan for a daring rescue. Singing. Yep, fucking singing.
For about three minutes the Smurfs sing their way to bloody murder. The more they sing, the more the ring of fire burns. It appears as though their wickedness is no match for the strange wizard. Eventually, with the help of the child hostages and Gargamel, their singing becomes so powerful that they actually kill the stranger. But to throw a touch of psycho into the fray, they cheer in excitement when he is killed. Like who the fuck does that? On Christmas eve, in the Smurfs Christmas Special, they not only kill a stranger, but cheer his death. Way to promote the area as being tourist friendly. “Come visit us, and be killed for your trouble.” For all they knew, the stranger could have been their father. Instead of seeking assistance from local law enforcement, they just dished out their own form of vigilante justice. Way to set an example for children.
But in all honesty, by the end of the show I didn’t want to live anymore wither.
SERIOUSLY MESSED UP SOURCES